Some group of women took this seriously and tried to pass a bill that requires couples to renew their marriage every ten years! Good thing our lawmakers had enough common sense in their mind to immediately trash this bill down.
The women came up with this bill with the hope to make it easier to get out of failed marriages. Only few people could afford to pay for annulment which, I heard, costs near half a million pesos. Good thing I did not not make that foolish decision to rush into getting married just because I was expecting a kid.
What the women might not even consider is the fear that the family relationships and responsibilities may be affected by the change, as Roy questioned:
And does parenthood goes with that contract too? Can you imagine a father telling his son, “Sorry son, my 10-year contract is up. Tomorrow, I will no longer be your father.”
Furthermore, what happens to love? Is having a renewable marriage simply a process of testing whether a life-long relationship could work or not? Is the courtship and dating periods of the relationship insufficient to know each other?
So in Christian renewable marriages, the Book of Common Prayer will now have to be rephrased:
To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, after 10 years do we part.
I think these people are thinking of the easy way out of a marriage, rather than making relationships work. Although this is most favorable to battered women who still pray and hope that their husbands would change, I think this one is NOT the best solution to this growing problem.
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Nice quote from Roy. Well said. One case of the cure that’s worse than the disease. Why bother with that at all? Instead, it’s saner making annulment available at a reasonable price. What can we do? Some people aren’t just fit for human company, eh? LOL
I agree. Cheaper annulment process, or even streamlined annulment process for the battered women. Better marriage counseling services too.
I agree with marriage counseling first and then cheaper annulment for women who are being victimized by abusive husbands.
Yun nga lang, marriage counseling is just available to married people. Paano kaya ang mga taong pinili na hindi ikasal at nagsasama lang at inaabuso pa rin?
how about those who can’t even afford to buy a Jollibee value meal? Siguro for those being abused (wife or the husband) either party can have the option of “quick annulment”, yung ala automatic hiwalay.
Hay, wala na ba silang maisip? Well, we can also understand that indeed there are women who are suffering from a relationship devoid of love; being battered wives and all.
But does not make a valid argument though… cheaper annulment process na lang…mga pari na to, eheheh!
Pwede naman kayang exception to the rule ang battered wives di ba – cheaper annulment for them may be helpful.
this is absurd but im trying to look at each side of the story. annulment shouldn’t be cheap or else people won’t try to make their marriage work and opt for the easy way out. pero this bill is too much din. it’s like planning for a contingency for your marriage to fail right at the start. actually walang easy and fool-proof solution to avoid bad marriages. pre-marital counseling lang talaga.
Oo nga eh. Doon na lang sa annulment ang focus at di na tinignan how relationships could ever be salvaged or worked out before it is declared to fail.
I ‘m just wondering. Super mahal nga ang annulment to prevent people for making it as Option A. But the super rich people, the actors and actresses, the Class A people of our society, they all can afford to apply for an annulment.
What about the poor? Is there an option for them?
I think… annulment is something for Class A people, and maybe Class B too. For the Class C (the middle and ordinary people) and the lower classes , just stick with your husband/wife forever (even if abusive), just close your eyes na lang.
I think the 10 year contract is really too much. But the current law on annulment must give some considerations to the middle and poor people. Baka puedeng something like pagdepend sa combined basic monthly salary ng husband and wife times 12 months. Although magiging mas mahal sya for mga mag asawang malaki ang combined salary, it would be an equal opportunity for everyone to apply for an annulment. And still, annulment won’t be an Option A kasi combined basic monthly salary times 12 is a lot of money .
What do you think????
Nice idea – depende sa income no? Issue rin pag malaki ang income isa sa spouses… lugi rin ang may malaking income.
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well kung sa ganung computation, lahat pantay pantay. then yung babayaran ng mag-asawa, yung share nilang 2 para makapaglabas ng ganung amount, eh through percentage ren ng kanilang ipon, or bahala sila kung paano nila iipunin yun.
kumbaga, mahirap or mayaman, mahihirapang magbayad dahil sa laki ng babayaran. pero sa ganyang computation, pati mahirap kakayaning magapply for annulment, of course it wouldn’t be Option A kc super mahal sya. Option to the lowest level dapat ang annulment, puera na lang kung may kasama ng pang aabuso.
Gem, puede na ba ako financial analyst? hahaha, pero palpak ako sa accounting and payroll. kamote nga ako sa mga ginagawa kong payroll and accounting system eh, nangangapa ako haha
Sana lang no? Kung di lang mandaya ang mga mayayaman sa income nila. Maraming nakakalusot eh. E di lalabas mura pa rin magpa-annul sa mga nakakalusot. Financial analyst LOL!
yan ngayon ang problem hehehe. dahil di fix ang amount of fee, maaaring mandaya mga mayayaman, unless…
ayaw ko na magsuggest, nakakasakit ng ulo mag isip, maraming paraan hahaha
requirements of income tax return, kung walang income tax, kung mahirap and walang income tax, would require them to file just for the sake na makaapply sila for annulment. and then company letter ren (or own letter if self employed), pirmado na tipong totoo mga amount na nakasaad sa income tax and salary nila, or else liable yung company for not telling the truth.
hmmmmm what do you think? ano ba ito, parang totohanan na ah!
I heard about this just earlier when I was talking with my cousin in California. Honestly, I was really surprised to hear about this. My thought was… is it just like insurance policy? When you forget to renew and you had an accident the insurance company is no longer accountable? Then if the woman got pregnant and she forgot to renew the marriage contract, the husband is no longer the father of the child?
On the other hand, If some women came up with this idea, I believe there is indeed valid and serious reasons. It’s just ridiculous why divorce is not allowed in the Phils when annulment is ok. I believe it is much better than renewable marriage but then, it can also be a money generating machine which will help the country’s economy or some politicians [whichever is applicable].
I can’t really understand how creative Filipinos. You are right counseling is still the best solution but then, how many Filipino couples are open-minded enough to go to counseling?
oppss…. sorry about the errors… I found many. I didn’t have the chance to review my comment for lack of time so I wasn’t able to make the necessary corrections. My Bad!
..+hmmm… i think hnd naman talaga dapat ang decision na yan… in my own opinion, cguro wag na lang natin dapat idamay ang ibang gustong magmahalan hanggang sa huli nlang hininga.. anjan naman ang devorse or annulment para itigil ang mga makabuluhang pag-sasama…
♥Teen’s Sweet Generation♥
Guys! I am a Criminology Student of University of Saint Anthony and a Debater. Our topic is the renewable MArriage and me and my team is on the Government side or on the affirmative side meaning our team should to agree with this thing. The question is, how will we be able to defend the positive side? I researched and found out many things that will connect us to the approval of this Bill.
Some of the questions being asked:
- Why would you want to inconvenience and hassle couples who want to stay together?
- Why should couples who want to separate have to wait ten (10) years?
- Why suffer being with your husband or wife when you both know you don’t love each other anymore?
Fact is, people never get to know their partners unless they are living on one house. That’s true. Many do the options of living together before marrying cause they wanna know their partners more. Bfs’ and Gfs’ is like infatuation, some doesn’t show what they are like and they are together for a few hours only.
According to the parylist who is pursuing this, the Bill would spare incompatible couples the expense of lengthy legal proceedings before their marriages are annulled. More than 500, 000 marriages are administered by the Catholic Church every year with less than 10% getting annulled and reported and the rest is not recorded? Why? These are couples of the middle class and or the lower class. 10% reported includes Class A which is/are the rich and famous. This includes the Professionals, Businessman, Attorneys, and others. This also includes the showbiz personalities. The partylist pointed it out that after the expiration, all the benefits and other concerns by the both side will be taken accordingly. This includes the support for the children, the custody, the properties and others. it doesn’t mean that when you undergo annulment or your marriage license expires, your being father to your children or your being motehr to them will expire too. The topic here is between you and your wife/husband. Your misunderstandings and stuffs alike taht can’t be arranged nor mediated between the two of you. If you really love your husband and/or wife, then there’s no need to worry and be afraid. WHen your marriage expired, just renew it and live a happy life again,. Atleast you have a choice. This is not an anti-women subject. Why? Because most of the victims here are the WOMEN. WOmen needs empowerment. If men can easily find someone, then Women can! Why not?!
By the way, I am not a single parent but i like your site. I am single but not yet a parent.
thanks everyone.
I think the 10 year renewal is good. I mean, it doesn’t really change the status of the parent’s life with their children, it’s only the marriage we’re talking about here. The child still bears the father’s last name and it is recorded in NSO that he is indeed the child’s father (or mother). I think we’re only over-thinking things. Love is no longer in question here, because if we will only base it on love, we’re just living in fairy tales, we all need to be practical.
I am from the US and met my partner and we are having a son. She is married but she can’t afford an annulment. I have seen the scars where I have parted her hair from when her husband used to abuse her. She just went back to the Philippines and when I left Korea. She has been separate from him for 9 years when i met her. He saw her and saw that’s she is pregnant so he said if she didn’t give him money he would tell people. They already had children before that her sister has been watching while she was in Korea.
So he tells her this and she moves far away but she wants me to just get my son and says she wants to just die. There is nothing she can do and she said this is not my problem to help her with. She will have my son soon and she wants me to find a way to just get him so he will have a good life but i love her and want to be with her always.
She is scared to even try to get an annulment and she said her family will just send her back to him they did even when he beat her. Her own brothers and all the money she had been sending all these years, Is gone because her sister used it to build her own house and take care of her family. Her brother used the money she sent him to build her house and didn’t build it. He mad the walls thin so it looked like it was built and kept all her money. Even the money I sent for her other brother to start fixing what one didnt he took also. Her sons said they knew what their aunt was doing but she said if they told her she would leave them to live on the street.
She would send home like 800 dollars every 2 weeks and they would still say the needed more money and now she is there until im out the army next year. She says she just wants to me to get my son and she wants to die. She says she can’t get an annulment, her family took her money and she has been working all these years and they wanted to charge her just to stay with them and for food when they have been taking her money all these years.
So I think there should be some way for people to get annulments who can’t afford it. I can’t believe stuff things like this can happen. I hate men who think it’s their right to abuse women. To be in a place where it seems like u can’t get help and your to the point where u want to die is really sad. I know because I was abused when I was younger and wanted to die.
I will help her and we will get this fixed. I don’t even have the money now. Not for an annulment and to take care of us but i’m saving and I hope it doesn’t just go to someones pocket like from what I have heard so many times. It took me meeting her and hearing all the reasons her sister needed more money before she realized she was taking her money. I’ll pray everyday that we can get this fixed. There is so much more but it makes me angry thinking about where i saw her sons staying when i visited before i left for the US and where her sister and her kids stayed. They slept and a really dirty room and her sister and her kids and husband room and the rest of the house looked great. I couldn’t believe that people are like this. Family………
You know what guys, on some part, I agree with this 10year marriage renewal or whatever you call this. Why? In case the marriage failed or anything, you don’t have to continue living with your partner, husband or wife. But on some point, I also disagree. It should start from the very beginning the boy meets girl or vice versa… Why can’t we do something that we are very sure of? I know nothing is permanent than change and every once in a while, people will change whether it’s for good, or bad. But why us, our partners will change for bad when we know we can improve our lives by helping each other, loving and caring with each other, with all the trust and respect and being faithful and loyal to our partners? I don’t think bad will happen if we on our mind think abouot good. This should go out to women and men. For men, be good, for women don’t nag too much. trust yourselves….
=====> With this guy who is going to be a father but your partner happens to have issues with her family and ex… Your girl needs you right now. She only say that she wants to die and just you go get your child and let her leave because he doesn’t want you to be a part of the trouble she has with her Ex and her “lichens” family. She needs you badly. If she is afraid with the annulment thing and stuff alike, get her. Go somewhere you think you both will be safe. Let her live in a place you can both call your own. You will still work but atleast, you have her. If you really loveher, help her children, get them so she won’t worry about them. It’s just a matter of to do or not to do. You’ll do everything for her because you love her, including her children and your coming son. Sometimes, the people you think will help and support you are the ones that pull you down, if you get what i mean. —family, selfish they are. I will pray for you and your woman and your son. Hope to hear from you another post saying you are happy cause you are with your woman and that you live with her and happy, contented.. etc….. God bless you….. x
marriage should last for life… if a man and woman was married…they are already one…
it is not a good example for us young people… separation is a sin itself… God didn’t made marriage which is a contract…
what if God will also say that your salvation will be also in contract?
I think there should be a process to annulment. Like you should have proofs that you went through series of marriage counselling and it just didn’t work. And like you should have stayed together for maybe 5 years or so before you can file annulment. Something like that. Para lang me stages. Then finally, if you have all these then you can file for annulment. Pwede na ba to maging bill, moms?